… tonite …

Here I sit, drinking wine, listening to Sting…some old
some new…. he is so Visceral.
Stirring soup, simmering ginger plum chutney, and
delighting in the night.

They say moving is one of the most traumatic experiences
of one’s life…  well, guess I’ve had a few… but
…..this one’s a good move.

Going back to the place where I felt most at home…
going home in many ways.    It is not something that happens
overnight, and sometimes it feels like there’s a drag on my sails..

So guess I’m sayin’….. I know it’s been a while since I’ve touched
in with you, my friends and readers….. but I do have some other
priorities that seem to take precedence…
I’m moving!

Long time ago, I fell in love with a man…a man from Brasil…

A little while later…like 18 years… I went to Brasil to decide
what the heck that was about.
…and what the heck to Do with it…

And still, years later I decided to write this love story about the
strange and wonderful and totally bizarre thing that happened
in my life….
And so….this blog… a blog, and a story which will become a book,
and partly because of Him…because he wanted someone to
write his Story….

But this blog has become so much more…

I’m not sure how good a job I can do on my own.
I do what I can, from Me…. from my perspective.
He is not here any more.
He struggles with his own demons, ensconced within his
own cluster of lessons and movement.  But…
he keeps on moving, keeps on unraveling his gordian knot.
He now has his Boat, and his diving equipment…
…a long time wanting, a long time coming, but finally,  Yes!

He is on his own trajectory….nothing unusual…
and GOOD ON HIM….. no problem here….
I think one of the most important things I want to say tonite is…

Hey Baby…. I do love you… I love your trajectory… I do…
I love how you keep on workin’ it, pushing ahead, no matter.
But I doubt there is room for anyone else but You.
This is sad, of course…..you being the romantic that you are…

I mean….wouldn’t it have been wonderful for one of those
beautiful and delicious romantic moments to realize itself….
and who’s to say they aren’t, in some reality, in some bardeau
on some plane, on some planet somewhere.
For I know you would love to have someone by your side.

Yes….I do indeed Know You….and you always said
I was the most intelligent woman you’d ever been with.
I suspect that is still true today.

But now…. I want it clear…. for…I am clear.
I am new and clear and
we have danced our dance.  I hold no agenda here…

I listen to Sting, to his words and heart… it rings of times and
places that are timeless.  Soon I return to places that hold my
heart, to memories and times that I will now pick up, take hold
of the string and continuum, and hold to my heart…
and it’s all relevant, all current, all now…

Because it Is all now… it’s not linear….it’s all now… so Hello….

I go home to a place that is set in time and will never move…
it is and it will be….and so will I…

You know….sorry that it didn’t work out, but…it did!
It was what it was… and we were what we were….

I wish you well my love… I wish you the fulfillment of
Your Dreams…

And so I say to you all, my readers… here I sit, readying myself
for another move, one of many in my life of chances and
throws of the dice.
Sureness in mind, yet chances none the less…

So hello and thanks for being there, today, tonite, now…
because I know all of you are just hanging on til morning,
hoping the sun rises once again, hoping someone cares.

“For tomorrow the sun will surely rise, and
who knows what the tide may bring in…”

 

————————————

 

 

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